Reasons and Fate

If you live in Illinois like I do, then you have no doubt heard about the shooting at Northern Illinois University last week. I wish I understood what went through the minds of these killers as they entered schools armed to the teeth and prepared to kill. I pray for those who died and their families, victims of yet another senseless tragedy. I cannot understand why those things happen.

But here’s the crazy thing: if my life had gone according to how I was trying to plan it, it’s entirely possible I could have been on that campus that day.

A couple of years ago, I decided I wanted to go to law school. I took the LSAT exam, scored okay, and got accepted to a couple of law schools. U of I wasn’t one of them, which stunk because they were my first choice since I wouldn’t have to move. I thought about a Catholic law school in Minnesota (I think that’s where it was), but I didn’t want to pay the out-of-state tuition, not to mention it was a bit more expensive than my other option, which was NIU. And even though we didn’t want to leave our friends in Champaign, we figured it would be easy to come back in three years and pick up where we left off.

Then I got pregnant. And the deal was completely off.

I actually remember being terribly, terribly upset that I was pregnant. We had two kids already, and I had really wanted to stop at two. And I was just at the point where I thought I could attempt to “get my life back” whatever that meant. But God had other plans for me, apparently, and I knew I didn’t want to mess them up.

In the course of the past three years…

  • I have had the privilege of living with the sweetest, most wonderful child;
  • we have bought our first house;
  • I have found I could return to a profession I thought I had abandoned a long time ago;
  • I have discovered a new calling, or possibly two;
  • and I have met someone who has become one of my most treasured friends.

That has all happened because I grudgingly stayed in Champaign with my baby instead of moving to DeKalb for law school. I also, apparently, stayed as far away from a deadly shooting as I possibly could. The things that happen when your plans fall through….

Prayers and love to NIU.